Perception

I learned long ago that perception matters; perception can mask truth. I have known this and even I can fall victim to false perception. I was once again reminded of this after a baseball game.

What’s more American than baseball? At a World Series game in America, you will have as diverse a group as any. Military and civilian, Democrat and Republican, citizen and immigrant will gather to watch the game.

When the current President of the United States attended such a game last week, the behavior of those gathered was not what we’ve come to expect when DT stands in front of a crowd. They booed him and chanted “lock him up” in anticipation of an impeachment.

There was outcry from his supporters calling it un-American and unprecedented. There were those who argued the office of the president deserves respect.

Me personally? It brought a smile to my face.

Here is what we’ve come to expect when Donald Trump gives a speech to a large crowd: fandom. The crowd cheers at his every unintelligible utterance as if it’s from God. They wear their red MAGA hats and hold signs and shout derisions at his enemies. It’s disgusting really. We see these rallies on the news all the time. They aren’t ever that big but they are made to look big by cheating camera angles and clever lighting. The perception created is one of immense and overwhelming support. We never see descent at a Trump rally because dissention is quickly snuffed out by security.

This president surrounds himself with yes-men (and I do mean men) and sycophants. He has neatly insulated himself from the broad spectrum of Americans and has no idea how the majority truly feel despite what polls and approval ratings say. He doesn’t see it so it doesn’t exist. What he does see in the media is dismissed as fake news.

This perception doesn’t match reality. This gives him and his supporters the feeling of majority. It is a false perception and as proof we have what happened at the World Series game last week. When a range of Americans gather, those who support 45 aren’t the roaring red hats concentrated at one of his rallies. They are the minority and always have been despite his electoral victory in 2016.

The majority of Americans didn’t want him as their president and didn’t vote for him. The office of the president should be respected but that respect doesn’t extend to the man occupying that office. If Trump made more public appearances in front of crowds like that at the World Series, I suspect we’d hear a lot more booing!

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Sawubona

Joe Davis and David Scherer at Holden Village 2019

I see you. I hear you. You matter.

My trip to Holden Village had been on the books for nearly a year but I didn’t give much thought as to what I would do when I got there. I brought along my hiking gear knowing that would always be an option. I brought an e-reader loaded with books in case I had down time but I didn’t think I would (and I really didn’t). I knew there would be time for bible study and session work but I wasn’t sure if any of it would interest me when the time came.

Every summer season, Holden Village brings in speakers from around the world to lecture or workshop on a variety of topics. Each season is different giving guests a unique experience every time they sojourn to the village. I didn’t look at who would be presenting while I was there and figured I’d go wherever the spirit called me.

Joe Davis and David Scherer led a series of workshops exploring race and faith in our church and in our world. Most of their workshops conflicted with the village choir practice so I didn’t get to attend all of their presentations. It was Wednesday before I had a break from choir and could sit in on what they came to talk about.

They started with Sawubona, a Zulu greeting which translates to “I see you”, a far more meaningful greeting than a simple “hello”. Sawubona says “I see who you are personally, your humanity, dignity, and respect”. I’d never heard of it before but I quickly recognized the power of understanding behind it.

Whenever anyone finished speaking at one of their workshops, those in attendance would collectively respond, “We see you. We hear you. You matter.” It was a way of acknowledging the individual’s contribution to the discussion even if what they said was uncomfortable or caused dissention.

It’s easy to do something like this in a faith setting in a remote village in the mountains. Places like Holden draw a certain type of person; one generally open to new ideas and ways of connecting to “other” people.

I began to wonder what it would be like if Sawubona was used in government. What if after every member in the house or senate spoke, the group collectively responded with “we see you, we hear, you, you matter”? What if when every candidate finished speaking at a debate, the other candidates responded with “We see you, we hear you, you matter”? Think of what kind of example that would set to those watching. Would they stop and listen? Would they consider the words of their advisories? Or would Sawubona morph into a platitude spoken with no intention of understanding?

While I don’t serve in government (nor do I have any desire to do so), I can apply Sawubona in my own life. There are times when I make remarks on social media that others don’t agree with. I have often been attacked personally for my views and opinions and yes even facts I’ve presented. Since my trek to Holden Village, I have been trying even harder to temper my responses and consider Sawubona. This person attacking me matters, the sum of their life experiences has led them to a place of disagreement with me but that doesn’t negate either one of us. I matter, they matter, we all matter.

But what happens when Sawubona isn’t reciprocated? I’m not gonna lie, that’s the part I struggle with. It’s frustrating to no end when I extend understanding but don’t receive it in return. I can’t control what someone else says, does, or even believes. Yet if I want something better, something more, I have to be the example. I have to model the change I want to see in others.

I encourage all of you reading this to consider Sawubona as you go about your daily lives. Perhaps finding common ground in these adversarial times starts with a simple acknowledgement of the other: I see you. I hear you. You matter!

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Fake News

IMG_4990So recently I was told I was un-American for my political views, that I disrespect the code of having served my country and that I am in fact turning against it. This was from a woman I don’t believe I’ve ever actually met nor had a conversation with. A mutual friend on Facebook had posted a political meme (you know, those pictures with quotes on them) and it was patently false. It was what I would consider the very definition of fake news.

I did a quick internet search and verified the quote was entirely made up then remarked how many of my Republican friends often share memes and posts that tell a story very different from the truth. In short, I called my friend out for sharing “fake news”. This woman saw my comment and immediately made the assumption that I somehow supported what the meme stated (for the record is said Democrats believed social security was a right for illegal immigrants). I don’t know why she made that assumption so in my reply to her comment, I reiterated the meme was false and encouraged her to do her own research to find the truth for herself; to not take my word for it alone. Based on her reply after that, she did not take my advice and made further disparaging remarks about my character.

I think the part that surprised me most was that after a full day, my “friend” still had the post on her wall. Now if it were me and I posted something I believed to be true but later found out was false, I wouldn’t be able to get that post down fast enough! Is that because I value the truth more than this friend of mine? I hope that’s not the case.

I am supremely careful about what I share on my newsfeed because I don’t want to be the source of propaganda or misinformation. I recognize how dangerous that can be because I actually had to read books like Orwell’s 1984 when I was in school; it made an impression. I was taught in the Navy that integrity is what you do when no one is looking. The bible very clearly tells us “Do not lie” and to “rejoice in the truth.”

What I am seeing with this woman who said some pretty terrible things about me, is a trend among Americans where they’d rather stay with their own beliefs, however false, than challenge their preconceptions. Whether because of propaganda or xenophobia, I am seeing more and more people become entrenched in one side or the other, forgetting that there really are no sides if we are to remain one country; e pluribus unum.

To my friends who are Democrats, not all Republicans are bad and not all of them share the same ideological beliefs as the leader of their party. To all my Republican friends, I would encourage you to really consider what it is the Democratic party advocates for (and doesn’t advocate for) and not jump to conclusions based on your own bias or preconceptions. Maybe, just maybe, the divide between parties isn’t so great.

When I took my oath back in 1999 to defend my country, it was from all enemies foreign and domestic. Right now I believe misinformation is our greatest enemy of all and while I no longer wear the uniform of a United States sailor, I still consider myself under oath.

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This Too Shall Pass

No matter how big or how small the struggles I’ve faced in my life, my father’s words have echoed in my mind, “This too shall pass.”

When I learned of the swift confirmation and swearing in of Judge Kavanaugh I felt a great weight upon my heart. I began to question everything I thought I knew about my country. Many years ago I put on the uniform of a United States sailor and I always wore that uniform with pride. I served at a time when I didn’t agree with the politics of those in power but I felt what called us Americans meant we were all playing for the same team.

I don’t feel like that anymore. I feel the divide is deep and wide and not just among those elected to make decisions on our behalf. I feel the rift growing between families and neighbors who disagree on science, religion, and who should have rights when it comes to a woman and an unborn child. Where once we could agree to disagree, we now are entrenched and those who aren’t for us must be against us.

I try to remind myself that my act of service wasn’t for a government, it was for a people. Long ago I believed Americans were worth dying for and I took an oath to defend my country with my life. I was young and naive but I knew what I was doing. When the towers fell on 9/11 I was at the tip of the spear, ready to do my part in dishing out American justice for those lives taken. When I came home, I saw a country united where neighbors of all race and cultural backgrounds proudly displayed the flag that unifies us all.

Today I see athletes kneeling because the symbol of our nation no longer matches our vision. I see women marching, demanding they not only be heard, but believed. I see injustice everywhere as those with plenty get more and those with little get less. And I watch as my government plays party politics at the expense of our nation. We are not great, we are not great again, and if this is what winning looks like, I’d rather lose. If we were losing when we were defending freedom and justice for all, and if winning means ripping children from mother’s arms, praising Nazis for marching in our streets, and shaking hands with the world’s worst dictators, then we’ve lost our identity, we’ve lost what it means to stand up and defend the oppressed. We have become the enemy.

I’m not sure when our nation wandered down this road of division but I do know those who oppose liberty and justice are celebrating. We have done to ourselves what no foreign agent has been able to do, we are divided. This is not the country I swore and oath to defend.

And yet I again hear the wisdom of my father, “This too shall pass.” But I wonder, pass into what? Are we headed for civil war or a second revolution? Are we too far gone to bridge the chasm that separates our different cultural, religious, and social ideologies? I hope not. I hope very soon we can remember what we once stood for. I hope that out of our many voices, we can be one great nation. E pluribus unum.

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I Believe Her

Maybe because I’ve seen every episode of Law & Order: SVU. Maybe because I’ve listened to women I’ve known and loved recount their experiences with sexual assault. Maybe because Dr. Ford has given me no reason not to believe her.

I watched a well-educated composed woman recount her story. I watched as she answered questions to the best of her ability with no evasion. She was consistent in her testimony and has not wavered from it since making her allegation. She spoke intelligently and never let her emotions consume her. I saw courage and bravery as she told her truth to the highest levels of power. While she was short on broader details of the event, the specifics of the incident itself she recalled in great detail. When asked if there were any doubt as to who assaulted her, she responded with 100% certainty it was Supreme Court nominee Brett Kavanaugh.

I watched a well-educated man plead his innocence to the Senate committee and the American people. At first he was sympathetic, choking up when he spoke of his family. Yet as the hearing progressed, his privilege, sense of entitlement, and bias against the Democratic Party began to show. He failed to reign in his emotions numerous times, he interrupted and spoke over senators asking questions, and was often evasive. Allegation aside, this kind of behavior is unfit a Supreme Court Justice.

She said.

He Said.

For convictions in criminal cases in this country, the accused must be proven guilty by things like facts, evidence, and corroboration. If tried in a criminal court, I do not believe there is sufficient evidence to convict Judge Kavanaugh. A lack of evidence doesn’t mean a crime didn’t occur which is often the case with sexual assault. It’s also one of the many reasons cases like these go unreported. But Kavanugh isn’t on trial, not in the traditional sense. The Senate doesn’t have to convict Judge Kavanaugh of any crime, they only have to determine if his record and his personal character are worthy of confirmation as a Supreme Court Justice.

There is no doubt that both political parties in this country are playing politics in this case. The Democrats are using every tactic they can to delay Kavanaugh’s confirmation. It’s also clear a full and thorough investigation would do just that. The Republican Party shows more concern for balancing the highest court in their favor than getting to the truth. But all of that is noise meant to distract from the heart of the matter.

He said.

She said.

Who are we to believe? Is the alleged crime significant enough to disqualify Judge Kavanaugh from the Supreme Court? I believe attempted rape, no matter how long ago the incident occurred, is sufficient enough for disqualification. Is the accuser credible enough to be believed? I believe Dr. Ford is credible.

We are left with many unanswered questions and we may never know the whole truth. While Judge Kavanaugh may be presumed innocent of this allegation, that presumption does not mean he should be confirmed as the next Supreme Court Justice. When it comes to the highest court in this country, those seated there must be beyond reproach. Dr. Ford’s allegation and Judge Kavanaugh’s response to it show he does not meet that standard.

I believe her.

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Remembering 9-11

For those of us who lived through the events on that fateful day in September, we remember. We remember what it was like at airports, amusement parks, and sporting events. Security check points were minimal or simply didn’t exist. We could go to Disneyland without passing through a metal detector. We could go to a football game with any kind of bag. We could say goodbye to our friends and family at the boarding gate.

Whether you were alive on 9-11-2001 or born after, your life has been affected. Your perception of the world and your feelings of security have been influenced by the actions of a handful of hateful men.

Just last week I traveled to Boston for a funeral. The security checkpoint at Logan Airport was atrocious. I removed all of my electronics, all of my liquids, my shoes, my hat. When it was finally my turn to raise my arms in the machine that would scan every part of me, nearly an hour had passed since I’d gotten in line. My watch triggered the machine along with the metal snaps on the pants I was wearing. I was fortunate the TSA agent who patted me down was friendly. She told me where she would touch me and asked if I had any sensitivity in those areas. I have heard many horror stories of rigorous pat-downs and violations by aggressive agents. Thankfully my experience has been acceptable.

Last fall I went to Disneyland. I stood in a long line to pass through security. I had only my phone and a small wallet in my possession. Yet I had to wait as parents with children (it is Disneyland after all) had their diaper bags and stroller scrutinized. Then it was another wait to get through the ticket gate. It took perhaps a half an hour to get into the happiest place on Earth. This was all on a weekday in October. I can’t imagine what it must be like on the weekends!

As for me, I was aboard the USS Enterprise when those men took something from all of us. The ship was headed to South Africa for a historic port of call when everything changed. My Captain didn’t wait for orders. He heard the news and ordered the ship back to the Middle East, the most likely source of the attack. Eventually we got some payback but the scars remain.

I don’t feel any more or any less safe with the increased security measures but I understand why they are in place. I wonder if we will ever get back that sense of security. Will there be a day when metal detectors, full body scans, and bag checks go away? Can we build a world where a large crowd of people can gather without fear of bullets raining down or bombs going off? I want to believe we can. I want my nieces and nephews born post 9-11-2001 to feel safe in amusement parks without the hassle of long security lines. How can we make that happen?

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Please Don’t Make Me Un-Friend You

Having served in the military and having lived in various parts of the country, I have accumulated a diverse group of friends on social media. Prior to the election in November of 2016 my newsfeed was filled with pictures of food, adventures, and family time with the occasional political post or news article. Generally everyone was polite and friendly with little to no trolling. I miss those days.

Since the election of the 45th U.S. president things have gotten rather chaotic every morning when I sit down to scroll through my newsfeed. The first half of 2017 I felt like I had to “suit up” and engage in debate with people I used to have little to no interaction with outside the occasional “Like”. Thankfully things have slowly returned to a new normal. It isn’t quite the “flowers and butterflies” of before but it has become manageable.

There are always political posts from people with varying opinions, news articles about the latest tweet or scandal. But there are also recipes and family pictures to make up for it. I don’t feel like I have to armor up to see what my friends are up to. Yet there are a few people out there whose new “normal” make it very difficult for me to stay engaged.

I ultimately had to unfriend someone on Facebook. I’m a fairly tolerant individual and I like to hear good arguments about both sides of an issue before I weigh in. I know I may come to a discussion with my own preconceptions but I make a concerted effort to set them aside when I engage with someone who has a different point of view. I respect anyone who does the same. What I cannot abide is someone who frequently posts false or misleading information than refuses to discuss their position on any of it. When the volume of such vitriol begins to flood my news feed where every other post is a negative rant against a group of people simply because they look or think differently, something has to stop. Facebook has the option of blocking a person’s posts from appearing on your newsfeed for 30 days. I tried it out and suddenly it was easier to scroll my newsfeed without seeing the hate.

After 30 days and the posts began appearing again I decided an online friendship no longer worked for me. While the posts this person continued to share weren’t directed at me personally, it didn’t always feel that way since this person’s condemnation was directed at many of the issues I support. I tried numerous times to point out factual errors and I cited multiple legitimate sources to back up my position and in return no comments were made; only more garbage posts. Un- friend.

I like having a diverse group of friends with ideas different than my own. It keeps me honest and it keeps me thinking. When a conservative friend of mine shares an article or makes a statement on an issue I listen and try to see it from their point of view even if it’s one I don’t share. So please, dear social media friends, be thoughtful in what you share especially if you know it might be hurtful or offensive to some of your friends. We are friends after all.

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What Would Captain Picard Do?

About the time I was 11 years old I was introduced to the world of Star Trek, specifically Star Trek: The Next Generation. I’d been a space case since the second grade devouring all kinds of books on planets and stars but science fiction was a new frontier. Before long I was hooked! I couldn’t get enough. I got in so much trouble staying up late to not only record the episodes as they aired but watch them as well. I imagined what I would do when faced with their dilemmas. What kind of advice would I give? Would I charge the Klingons or turn tail and run? Could I fix the engines better than LaForge? I dreamed of serving aboard the USS Enterprise (literally) and it was kind of a cruel joke when my dreams came true during my time in the Navy. As a Trek fan it was awesome to say I served on the Enterprise, as a nuclear operator it sucked!

Early in my naval career I was often lectured about duty, honor, and integrity. I didn’t need these lectures as Captain Picard had already taught me the value in telling the truth even when it could get my friends in trouble (Episode: The First Duty). With every encounter when dealing with hostile aliens, Picard approached the situation calmly and diplomatically. He never reached for the phaser first. If there was a peaceful way out of a situation, Picard always found it.

I never realized how profound that lesson was until I was an adult. Growing up it fit the narrative my teachers, parents, and church leaders taught me; to seek peace instead of violence, to turn the other cheek. Picard became my litmus test when facing difficult decisions. Not only did I compare what I believed Picard’s decisions would have been relative to my own, I also looked to others, particularly those in leadership positions. Whether they were my superiors in the Navy or political leaders, I viewed them next to what I call the “Picard Standard”. It’s a high bar of excellence for sure but the objective is to strive to reach it.

When I look at leaders today, particularly those in politics, my “Picard Standard” seems so unreachable by those highest in power. The strive for excellence has been replaced by greed and what would playout the quickest in a news cycle. Political expediency has replaced what is best for the average American.

Would Picard make fun of a disabled person to win a few laughs? No. Would Picard solve an immigration issue by ripping children away from their parents as a deterrent? No. Would Picard antagonize world leadership? Ignore scientific evidence? Dismiss those who have a different point of view or perspective? No.

Now there may be some of you who think this standard is unreachable, unattainable. After all Picard was a fictional character in a TV show and the real world is a much messier place compared to the utopia of the 24th century. If you asked a caveman about walking on the moon, he’d tell you it’s impossible. The average American colonist didn’t think democracy was possible until a handful of young rebels made it happen in 1776. Mankind has the unique ability to make the impossible possible and to deny possibilities does us a disservice. When shit hits the fan we must resist the urges of basic instinct and find a better way. It’s easy to pick up a weapon and destroy your enemy but making friends with your enemy is far more rewarding. It’s what Captain Picard would do.

In these difficult times, the character of those we put in office is more important than ever. A man who speaks simply and tells you what you want to hear may not be the best candidate for president. Men and women who cater only to the wealthy, who are unwilling to consider what is best for all Americans aren’t suited for the Senate or House of Representatives. Anyone who offers a quick and simple solution to complex problems lacks the intelligence and understanding required for public service. If the problems facing our country could be solved quickly and easily, they wouldn’t be problems.

I’m not sure anyone could truly measure up to Jean-Luc Picard but we the people must hold our leadership accountable. Bad behavior must be punished and good men and women deserve the chance to make a positive difference. But it’s not just leaders who need to be accountable. Each of us should strive for the Picard Standard. Would Picard make that comment on Facebook? Would Picard put off a tough conversation hoping the problem would resolve itself? Would Picard wait for his turn to talk in a heated conversation or actively listen to the person with a different opinion?

When faced with a decision and you’re tempted to take the easy way ask yourself, “What would Captain Picard do?”

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The Next Generation

Tonight I will have the privilege of working with some junior high and high school students as they prepare to lead worship on Easter morning. A few weeks ago several of them gathered to learn a song they would play on hand chimes. About half of them had a strong grasp of music theory while others had very little experience. When I asked who could read music, the front row was quite to respond in the affirmative while the back row hesitated. Without hesitation, every player in the front row turned around to help and guide someone in the back row. I didn’t ask them to do this; they saw their peers struggling and immediately offered to help. I wish I could have captured that moment on camera because it gave me such hope for the future.

Many young people today have taken to the streets demanding change and accountability. Too many of these kids have faced scorn and ridicule from their elders. It’s been suggested these kids have no idea what goes on in the “real world”. While I agree these kids don’t have the benefit of a lifetime of experience, I think they have seen and experienced enough of the “real world” to date and their demands for change should be heard. These kids have to face lock-down drills and potential shooters in their next class. These kids have to plan an exit strategy should the worst happen during a chemistry test or a band rehearsal.

They could be better people, crack down on bullying and be more inclusive; at least that’s what they’ve been told by adults who do no such thing. For their sake and my own I hope they don’t give up. I hope they realize the most powerful weapon they could ever have is their voice and I hope they continue to use their voice for positive change in a world jaded and corrupted by power and greed.

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Know Greater Love

I really don’t like talking about gun control, the second amendment, and mass shootings. It’s never an easy conversation and most of the time I feel like both sides aren’t listening to the other and are just waiting for their turn to shout. Gun control is not a ban on firearms. Restricting access to weapons designed for the expeditious termination of human life seems reasonable in a civilized society. There is a balancing act between public safety and the rights guaranteed in the constitution. We have the freedom to speak in the United States but we can’t falsely call out fire in a crowded theater. To do so would be a clear and present danger that would bring about substantive evil our laws are in place to protect against. This particular issue was parsed out by the Supreme Court; we found a balance between free speech and malicious speech.

I don’t believe we’ve found a balance between the second amendment right of bearing arms and the clear and present danger they present to society. Both sides of the balancing act make good points just as both sides make very bad ones too. I think arming teachers is one of the worst ideas I’ve heard so far.

Are we really suggesting turning teachers into killers? One of the loudest arguments I’ve heard about guns in the last week has been “the only way to stop a bad guy with a gun is a good guy with a gun.” I’m not convinced that’s true.

A story broke recently about an armed sheriff’s deputy at the scene while the massacre in Parkland Florida took place. Details have been vague as to why the deputy didn’t charge in like a hero and potentially save the lives of students and staff as bullets from an AR-15 rained down in what should have been a safe place to learn. Perhaps the argument about good guys with guns isn’t as strong as some would have me believe.

Many gun advocates would have me think that taking a human life is the right thing to do when a “bad guy” starts shooting at innocent people. It might be the necessary thing, even justifiable but I can’t imagine it would be easy and living with that choice can be just as haunting as inaction. So what then makes it right?

None of us know whether or not we can make that choice, pull the trigger, until we are standing in that situation. I don’t know why the sheriff’s deputy in Parkland didn’t advance on the shooter. Maybe he was waiting for backup, maybe he was thinking of his family, maybe he just wasn’t ready to charge an AR-15 with his sidearm. Because he didn’t sacrifice himself, because he didn’t save the day, he’s been ridiculed and shamed, called a coward by the President of the United States (takes one to know one?).

Asking someone to give up their life is a big ask and we shouldn’t shame those who cower in fear when shit hits the fan. Unless and until you have been under fire, none of us know what we would do, trained or not. Passing judgement on those who have seen hell is despicable.

Asking teachers to take up arms to protect their students may sound empowering but how can we as a society ask a teacher to shoot a student, even if that student is a “bad guy”. If not teachers, it’s been suggested that military veterans take up arms and patrol schools. As a veteran myself I find this just as disturbing. Former military personnel walking around campuses with firearms ready to shoot anyone who would cause trouble may sound like a good idea but doesn’t that start to look more like a police state or martial law? I do think having veterans on school campuses is a good idea as mentors and guides but certainly not armed enforcers.

“No one has greater love than this, to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.” John 15:13

Laying down one’s life for his friends is one thing, taking a life is something different.

I don’t have all the right answers but I know a wrong one when I hear it. Something has to change and I can’t see how more guns ends gun violence.

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