The Platform (Blog)

Posted on

Vital Force

How has it been two months since my last blog post? I have had a very busy summer this year but not nearly as busy as the summer of 2008. Ten years ago while attending Shoreline Community College I had the privilege of writing and directing a feature film. Nothing about that project was easy and almost nothing went according to plan.

It started with a short film series I produced earlier that year. Those who worked on the project insisted I move forward with a feature film in the same setting. My script was chosen as one of three summer films (the other two films were shorts). I had a very small stipend of money and a lot of college age kids with wacky availability. I managed to pool together some additional funds to secure some gear and a Director of Photography. With the generous support of another film friend of mine, we were able to shoot the film on an entirely new format using the Red One camera!

Like I said, almost nothing went according to plan. When working with a collection of student volunteers, I learned very quickly that not everyone who makes a commitment, sticks with it. I had engaging phone calls and meetings with people who seemed genuinely excited to work on the film and then not show up, not return calls, leaving me totally in the lurch. There were several points during that summer I wanted to quit. I was investing so much of my time and my own money (credit actually, I didn’t have any actual money at the time) and often I felt so alone. But I wasn’t alone. While some people may have bailed on me, I had a few dedicated cast and crew members who stood by me until the end of production. It was a relief when it was finally “in the can” and several months later we actually reassembled to film some additional scenes (those went way better!).

Once everything was shot, I went to work cutting the film and composing the effect shots. Nothing about post production went according to plan either! The problem with shooting on a new format is that software and codecs hadn’t caught up to it. My computer system was relatively new at the time and it was severely under powered for the 4K footage I was asking it to process. When I would compose an effects shot, I literally had to export the scene in tiny sections because any more than a few seconds and my machine crashed!

While I may have struggled with the editing portion of the film, I was fortunate to have some help with the audio. A good friend of mine worked with me to get the necessary ADR (automated dialog replacement, though there is nothing “automated” about it). I had a composer step forward as well as a team of guys who did some Foley work.

Time passed and life happened. My frustrations with the project made it difficult to complete and eventually my bank account required me to take a job out of state. Eventually I was able to upgrade my computer and Adobe was able to finally recognize native red footage. After a few years I went back to the film and was able to re-render entire scenes of effect shots and recompose the film.

I finished the film sometime in 2013, five years after it was shot. At that time I couldn’t upload a huge file to YouTube and the film was too long for my account (there used to be length restrictions on uploads). I burned a few copies to Blu-ray and “turned in” my film to Shoreline Community College. I had always intended on a big screening for the cast and crew, I also intended on finishing the film within the first year but…

My lead cast member asked me about the film the other day and I figured now was as good a time as any to put it out there. It’s not perfect and I can’t watch the film without seeing all the mistakes and shortcuts that were made to get it done. Still though, for a student film in 2008 made on less than a shoestring budget, I think it holds up pretty well.

If you haven’t seen the Vital Force web series, I recommend you watch that first as the film makes numerous references to the events in that series. Happy viewing!

Vital Force Feature Film

End Transmission

Posted on

Solo: A Star Wars Story Review

NOTE: Spoilers Ahead

I’m a fan of all kinds of science fiction and as such I tend to be a little more forgiving when franchises like Star Trek or Star Wars put out new material. I don’t generally pick it apart and compare it to the glory days of yore. Yet after seeing the latest iteration in the Star Wars saga, I felt the need to blog about my thoughts on the film.

I’ll start by saying that generally I liked the movie. I felt the story was cohesive with a good beginning, middle, and end. They left a few questions unanswered thus leaving the door open for more storytelling in the future. The soundtrack was amazing and the acting was top notch.

The film shows us how Han and Chewbacca met and became family. It was great to see this relationship in its infancy. The film also shows us how Han met Lando and eventually won the Millennium Falcon in a card game. These two elements are crucial to the future story and I thought the writers did a fantastic job with them.

If I’m going to be honest, I was just a bit disappointed at how Han was written. When we first see Han in “A New Hope”, he’s every bit the scoundrel Leia says he is. He “shot” first after all. He’s a guy who looks after himself above all else. To survive as a smuggler in desperate times this character trait makes every bit of sense. Through the original movie series, we see his character undergo change as he falls in love with Leia and works with the rebellion. He becomes a hero who puts others before himself. This character transformation is critical to Han’s story arc over the course of the original three films.

The latest movie starts out strong with Han ripping someone off with plans to get off Corellia, the terrible world he’s grown up on. Then comes “the girl”, I swear I did a mental face palm. Don’t get me wrong, I really like Emilia Clarke as an actress and the character of Qi’ra was very well written. I just wholly expected Han to be a sleaze at this point in his life. It makes sense that a young man desperate to get away from a life of destitution wouldn’t make deep connections with anyone purely as a survival tactic, yet we start the film with Han in love!

Han makes it off the planet but she doesn’t and he spends the next three years of his life trying to get back and rescue her. He meets a ruthless band of thieves and signs on to help them with their latest scheme hoping it will bring him closer to saving Qi’ra. He gets a kind of mentor with Tobias Beckett, the leader. Beckett is every bit the cold hearted selfish scoundrel Han should be. Becket imparts his scoundrel wisdom to Han but Han doesn’t appear to buy into Beckett’s philosophy. Beckett and Han fail to complete the job they were hired to do and must face the music. The two men meet up with the crime syndicate they’re freelancing for and Han discovers Qi’ra made it off Corellia and now works for the crime syndicate he’s in trouble with.

To set things right, Han and Beckett along with Qi’ra must pull off another heist. Long story short, they’re successful and make it to the rendezvous with the required material. Before they can make the hand-off, in comes a paradigm shift when a group of rebels attempt to intercept the stolen goods. The rebels are desperate to take down the various crime lords who oppress the people which reminds Han of his life growing up on Corellia. Should Han work with the rebels and turn over the material thus making an enemy of the crime syndicate? Should he give the material to the crime syndicate and attempt to free his lover from her obligations to them?

At the climax of the film, Han does the right, he plays the role of a hero. Han betrays Beckett because Beckett would have killed him otherwise thus he learned at least a few of Beckett’s lessons. He gives the goods to the rebels and the man holding power over Qi’ra meets a deadly end. Qi’ra has plans of her own leaving Han and Chewbacca to fend for themselves. As a standalone story this ending would normally be just fine but this is a backstory film. By making him a good guy and a man devoted to a woman he loves, it completely upsets the character transformation he undergoes in Episodes 4, 5, and 6! He ends the film a good guy so when does he become the selfish smuggler we see in “A New Hope”? Another backstory film perhaps?

Aside from Han’s character arc, Solo: A Star Wars Story is a pretty good film worth seeing for those who aren’t too particular when it comes to the Star Wars franchise.

End Transmission

Posted on

Please Don’t Make Me Un-Friend You

Having served in the military and having lived in various parts of the country, I have accumulated a diverse group of friends on social media. Prior to the election in November of 2016 my newsfeed was filled with pictures of food, adventures, and family time with the occasional political post or news article. Generally everyone was polite and friendly with little to no trolling. I miss those days.

Since the election of the 45th U.S. president things have gotten rather chaotic every morning when I sit down to scroll through my newsfeed. The first half of 2017 I felt like I had to “suit up” and engage in debate with people I used to have little to no interaction with outside the occasional “Like”. Thankfully things have slowly returned to a new normal. It isn’t quite the “flowers and butterflies” of before but it has become manageable.

There are always political posts from people with varying opinions, news articles about the latest tweet or scandal. But there are also recipes and family pictures to make up for it. I don’t feel like I have to armor up to see what my friends are up to. Yet there are a few people out there whose new “normal” make it very difficult for me to stay engaged.

I ultimately had to unfriend someone on Facebook. I’m a fairly tolerant individual and I like to hear good arguments about both sides of an issue before I weigh in. I know I may come to a discussion with my own preconceptions but I make a concerted effort to set them aside when I engage with someone who has a different point of view. I respect anyone who does the same. What I cannot abide is someone who frequently posts false or misleading information than refuses to discuss their position on any of it. When the volume of such vitriol begins to flood my news feed where every other post is a negative rant against a group of people simply because they look or think differently, something has to stop. Facebook has the option of blocking a person’s posts from appearing on your newsfeed for 30 days. I tried it out and suddenly it was easier to scroll my newsfeed without seeing the hate.

After 30 days and the posts began appearing again I decided an online friendship no longer worked for me. While the posts this person continued to share weren’t directed at me personally, it didn’t always feel that way since this person’s condemnation was directed at many of the issues I support. I tried numerous times to point out factual errors and I cited multiple legitimate sources to back up my position and in return no comments were made; only more garbage posts. Un- friend.

I like having a diverse group of friends with ideas different than my own. It keeps me honest and it keeps me thinking. When a conservative friend of mine shares an article or makes a statement on an issue I listen and try to see it from their point of view even if it’s one I don’t share. So please, dear social media friends, be thoughtful in what you share especially if you know it might be hurtful or offensive to some of your friends. We are friends after all.

End Transmission

Posted on

What Would Captain Picard Do?

About the time I was 11 years old I was introduced to the world of Star Trek, specifically Star Trek: The Next Generation. I’d been a space case since the second grade devouring all kinds of books on planets and stars but science fiction was a new frontier. Before long I was hooked! I couldn’t get enough. I got in so much trouble staying up late to not only record the episodes as they aired but watch them as well. I imagined what I would do when faced with their dilemmas. What kind of advice would I give? Would I charge the Klingons or turn tail and run? Could I fix the engines better than LaForge? I dreamed of serving aboard the USS Enterprise (literally) and it was kind of a cruel joke when my dreams came true during my time in the Navy. As a Trek fan it was awesome to say I served on the Enterprise, as a nuclear operator it sucked!

Early in my naval career I was often lectured about duty, honor, and integrity. I didn’t need these lectures as Captain Picard had already taught me the value in telling the truth even when it could get my friends in trouble (Episode: The First Duty). With every encounter when dealing with hostile aliens, Picard approached the situation calmly and diplomatically. He never reached for the phaser first. If there was a peaceful way out of a situation, Picard always found it.

I never realized how profound that lesson was until I was an adult. Growing up it fit the narrative my teachers, parents, and church leaders taught me; to seek peace instead of violence, to turn the other cheek. Picard became my litmus test when facing difficult decisions. Not only did I compare what I believed Picard’s decisions would have been relative to my own, I also looked to others, particularly those in leadership positions. Whether they were my superiors in the Navy or political leaders, I viewed them next to what I call the “Picard Standard”. It’s a high bar of excellence for sure but the objective is to strive to reach it.

When I look at leaders today, particularly those in politics, my “Picard Standard” seems so unreachable by those highest in power. The strive for excellence has been replaced by greed and what would playout the quickest in a news cycle. Political expediency has replaced what is best for the average American.

Would Picard make fun of a disabled person to win a few laughs? No. Would Picard solve an immigration issue by ripping children away from their parents as a deterrent? No. Would Picard antagonize world leadership? Ignore scientific evidence? Dismiss those who have a different point of view or perspective? No.

Now there may be some of you who think this standard is unreachable, unattainable. After all Picard was a fictional character in a TV show and the real world is a much messier place compared to the utopia of the 24th century. If you asked a caveman about walking on the moon, he’d tell you it’s impossible. The average American colonist didn’t think democracy was possible until a handful of young rebels made it happen in 1776. Mankind has the unique ability to make the impossible possible and to deny possibilities does us a disservice. When shit hits the fan we must resist the urges of basic instinct and find a better way. It’s easy to pick up a weapon and destroy your enemy but making friends with your enemy is far more rewarding. It’s what Captain Picard would do.

In these difficult times, the character of those we put in office is more important than ever. A man who speaks simply and tells you what you want to hear may not be the best candidate for president. Men and women who cater only to the wealthy, who are unwilling to consider what is best for all Americans aren’t suited for the Senate or House of Representatives. Anyone who offers a quick and simple solution to complex problems lacks the intelligence and understanding required for public service. If the problems facing our country could be solved quickly and easily, they wouldn’t be problems.

I’m not sure anyone could truly measure up to Jean-Luc Picard but we the people must hold our leadership accountable. Bad behavior must be punished and good men and women deserve the chance to make a positive difference. But it’s not just leaders who need to be accountable. Each of us should strive for the Picard Standard. Would Picard make that comment on Facebook? Would Picard put off a tough conversation hoping the problem would resolve itself? Would Picard wait for his turn to talk in a heated conversation or actively listen to the person with a different opinion?

When faced with a decision and you’re tempted to take the easy way ask yourself, “What would Captain Picard do?”

End Transmission

Posted on

Don’t Nuke It

There is an expression among nuclear operators in the navy: “Don’t nuke it.” This basically translates to “don’t over complicate it”. In the world of nuclear operations, civilian as well as military, every operation to the smallest switch or valve manipulation is controlled by procedures. These procedures are painstakingly written, constantly scrutinized, and revised as needed to ensure proper safe operation of the reactor. What would outwardly appear like a simple evolution of turning on a light is made complicated by briefings, two (or even three) way communication, and strict adherence to the procedure; no short cuts. In other words, “it’s nuked.”

Navy nuclear operators are trained when they are most malleable, between the ages of 18 and 25. Intense study of systems along with constant preaching of watch standing principles become second nature before long and it’s easy for these ideals to spill over into non-nuclear applications. This happened to me recently when preparing to take our brand new travel trailer out for its shakedown cruise.

I went RVing with my family growing up but my parents always took care of the operation and maintenance associated with the trailer. I never paid any attention to what was involved with things like connecting to a tow vehicle or dumping waste tanks. When we got our trailer, we were given a walk through of all the different components and shown how to operate the various systems. Since both my husband and I are former navy nukes, we didn’t have a whole lot of questions as we understood the flow of water, how pressurized gas systems work, and basic electrical loading while running shore power (AC power) or the 12V DC system (onboard batteries). We impressed the guy as we often do.

After that walk through, I had a strong understanding of how everything worked even though I’d never operated any of it before. We took possession of the trailer and I collected all the literature on the various appliances and installed equipment and began to organize it; then I nuked it.

That’s right, I nuked the hell out of travel trailer operations. I didn’t stop at putting all the manuals in a single binder so they took up less space and were all in one place. I didn’t stop at making a checklist for shutting down the trailer when a camping trip was over. Oh no, I went above and beyond. I created numerous procedures written as if the trailer were a nuclear reactor. I wrote a procedure for connecting the trailer to a tow vehicle and a separate one for disconnecting it. I wrote a procedure for placing the trailer in a camping configuration and another one for going from a camping configuration to a tow configuration. I wrote separate procedures for dumping waste tanks and lighting off the oven. My procedures included notes of caution, PPE (personal protective equipment) requirements, and included diagrams and figures for ease of operator understanding.

If I had any questions about how something worked before I did this, they were all answered by the time I was finished. After all that work I was more than ready for our shakedown cruise. Our trip was not only about testing to see if everything worked on the trailer like it was supposed to, it was also a test of my procedures! They require some minor revisions but overall everything worked as it should and by following the procedures, we didn’t break anything!

No, I didn’t need to “nuke” my trailer and I probably made things more complicated than needed. I certainly don’t think every RV owner would or even could go to all the trouble I did. I want this trailer to remain in good working order for a long as possible. To ensure that end, it must be operated safely and properly and my nuked understanding (and procedures) make that possible.

End Transmission

Posted on

Yelp for Help

On Monday evening my husband and I took our six-year-old nephew and five-year-old niece to see Paw Patrol LIVE! in Seattle. These two kids haven’t spent much time in the city before and they thought it was pretty cool to be so close to the Space Needle.

We started at the McDonalds by the Seattle Center where they enjoyed a Happy Meal and I choked down a quarter pounder. I admit I’m not a fan of the “Golden Arches” like I used to be.

On our way to the theater we stopped at the huge playground where the kids had a fantastic time running around and climbing all over the giant structure. My nephew really liked the “spinny thing” merry-go-round though he made no effort to aid in spinning it; he left that up to other kids.

They were bursting with energy as we pulled them from the playground and walked to the theater. We followed a trail of kids and parents to Marion Oliver McCaw Hall where we found out seats on the First Tier. I sent my husband out to get the kids some light up toys just as the show started.

The show was fairly interactive and when the drama on stage began to lose the kids attention, the actors were quick to ask for help from the audience. During intermission we bought each of them a plush pup to take home. By the end of the show they were out of their seats jumping and dancing to the finale music.

When the show was over we headed back to the car and stopped at the big fountain for a few pictures. They spent the next half hour running around the fountain. I really don’t know how they can have so much energy! They wanted to go back to the playground as we walked passed it to our car! It was great to see them have so much fun outside!

While they got toys and a Happy Meal, they also got a memory they will likely hold onto for a very long time. The batteries will die in the light up toys and they will find their way to a garbage can before long. The plush pups will no doubt end up in a thrift pile but the feelings they have for that night could potentially last for many years to come. We gave them an experience of seeing a live show, of walking the streets of downtown Seattle, and running together without technology or other distractions.

It was time and money well spent in my opinion.

End Transmission

Posted on

The Next Generation

Tonight I will have the privilege of working with some junior high and high school students as they prepare to lead worship on Easter morning. A few weeks ago several of them gathered to learn a song they would play on hand chimes. About half of them had a strong grasp of music theory while others had very little experience. When I asked who could read music, the front row was quite to respond in the affirmative while the back row hesitated. Without hesitation, every player in the front row turned around to help and guide someone in the back row. I didn’t ask them to do this; they saw their peers struggling and immediately offered to help. I wish I could have captured that moment on camera because it gave me such hope for the future.

Many young people today have taken to the streets demanding change and accountability. Too many of these kids have faced scorn and ridicule from their elders. It’s been suggested these kids have no idea what goes on in the “real world”. While I agree these kids don’t have the benefit of a lifetime of experience, I think they have seen and experienced enough of the “real world” to date and their demands for change should be heard. These kids have to face lock-down drills and potential shooters in their next class. These kids have to plan an exit strategy should the worst happen during a chemistry test or a band rehearsal.

They could be better people, crack down on bullying and be more inclusive; at least that’s what they’ve been told by adults who do no such thing. For their sake and my own I hope they don’t give up. I hope they realize the most powerful weapon they could ever have is their voice and I hope they continue to use their voice for positive change in a world jaded and corrupted by power and greed.

End Transmission

Posted on

Give and Take in Lent

For those who may not be aware, we are currently in the season of Lent. Lent is a solemn religious observance in the Christian liturgical calendar that begins with Ash Wednesday and lasts about six weeks. Lent concludes with the celebration of Easter, the resurrection of Jesus Christ.

Church services during Lent tend to be dreary with depressing music about death and sacrifice as it is a build up to what Christ endured on Good Friday (the crucifixion). Many Christians give up something for Lent, make their own sacrifice in honor of the great sacrifice God made for us through Christ.

I’ve never been one to practice this tradition as it’s not any kind of requirement in the Lutheran faith. I have given it some thought over the years and I can’t seem to come up with something worthy of sacrifice. My salvation has already come through the cross, I am saved by grace so what’s the point of giving something up? Still, there’s something about a daily reminder though sacrifice during the season of Lent that intrigues me.

About a week into Lent it occurred to me that I had abstained from drinking soda. I wasn’t planning on cutting soda out of my diet completely just scaling back my intake of it. Perhaps I could give up soda for Lent as my sacrifice. As I considered this, I felt it wasn’t actually much of a sacrifice on my part. While soda sure tastes good, it certainly isn’t good for me. It has no nutritional value whatsoever so what kind of sacrifice is it to give up something I shouldn’t really have in the first place?

Something new I’ve heard this year as an alternative to giving something up is to take something up. That something could be community service, outreach, giving money to causes, or some other positive change. This to me is far more inspiring than a simple sacrifice. This concept also provides an opportunity to look at my soda deprivation not as a sacrifice but as taking up healthier options during the season of Lent. Taking better care of myself is a way I can honor God.

Jesus not only gave up his human life on Earth, he took up the cross for all sin. The least I can do during the season of Lent is make a daily acknowledgment of that. I look forward to celebrating Easter…with a Coke!

End Transmission

Posted on

Know Greater Love

I really don’t like talking about gun control, the second amendment, and mass shootings. It’s never an easy conversation and most of the time I feel like both sides aren’t listening to the other and are just waiting for their turn to shout. Gun control is not a ban on firearms. Restricting access to weapons designed for the expeditious termination of human life seems reasonable in a civilized society. There is a balancing act between public safety and the rights guaranteed in the constitution. We have the freedom to speak in the United States but we can’t falsely call out fire in a crowded theater. To do so would be a clear and present danger that would bring about substantive evil our laws are in place to protect against. This particular issue was parsed out by the Supreme Court; we found a balance between free speech and malicious speech.

I don’t believe we’ve found a balance between the second amendment right of bearing arms and the clear and present danger they present to society. Both sides of the balancing act make good points just as both sides make very bad ones too. I think arming teachers is one of the worst ideas I’ve heard so far.

Are we really suggesting turning teachers into killers? One of the loudest arguments I’ve heard about guns in the last week has been “the only way to stop a bad guy with a gun is a good guy with a gun.” I’m not convinced that’s true.

A story broke recently about an armed sheriff’s deputy at the scene while the massacre in Parkland Florida took place. Details have been vague as to why the deputy didn’t charge in like a hero and potentially save the lives of students and staff as bullets from an AR-15 rained down in what should have been a safe place to learn. Perhaps the argument about good guys with guns isn’t as strong as some would have me believe.

Many gun advocates would have me think that taking a human life is the right thing to do when a “bad guy” starts shooting at innocent people. It might be the necessary thing, even justifiable but I can’t imagine it would be easy and living with that choice can be just as haunting as inaction. So what then makes it right?

None of us know whether or not we can make that choice, pull the trigger, until we are standing in that situation. I don’t know why the sheriff’s deputy in Parkland didn’t advance on the shooter. Maybe he was waiting for backup, maybe he was thinking of his family, maybe he just wasn’t ready to charge an AR-15 with his sidearm. Because he didn’t sacrifice himself, because he didn’t save the day, he’s been ridiculed and shamed, called a coward by the President of the United States (takes one to know one?).

Asking someone to give up their life is a big ask and we shouldn’t shame those who cower in fear when shit hits the fan. Unless and until you have been under fire, none of us know what we would do, trained or not. Passing judgement on those who have seen hell is despicable.

Asking teachers to take up arms to protect their students may sound empowering but how can we as a society ask a teacher to shoot a student, even if that student is a “bad guy”. If not teachers, it’s been suggested that military veterans take up arms and patrol schools. As a veteran myself I find this just as disturbing. Former military personnel walking around campuses with firearms ready to shoot anyone who would cause trouble may sound like a good idea but doesn’t that start to look more like a police state or martial law? I do think having veterans on school campuses is a good idea as mentors and guides but certainly not armed enforcers.

“No one has greater love than this, to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.” John 15:13

Laying down one’s life for his friends is one thing, taking a life is something different.

I don’t have all the right answers but I know a wrong one when I hear it. Something has to change and I can’t see how more guns ends gun violence.

End Transmission

Posted on

The Choice in CHD

I follow a number of different social media pages dedicated to children with various heart defects. I offer prayers and words of encouragement when appropriate and my heart breaks when a Heart Warrior loses their battle with CHD.

Recently I came across a blog post from a heart mom who offered advice to another woman whose unborn child was diagnosed with HLHS (Hypoplastic Left Heart Syndrome); it’s the same defect my nephew Toby has. The woman was contemplating termination and sought perspective from parents of other Heart Warriors. As I read the post further I was saddened to learn she chose termination over battling CHD and while I don’t agree with her decision I can certainly understand it. The life with HLHS is full of uncertainty and heartache, doctors and hospital stays, and constant fear the other proverbial shoe will drop.

The principle question asked when receiving a diagnosis like this is “why me” or “why us” but I think that question is vanity. I believe children like Toby and his heart buddies are going to be born regardless so a better question to ask is “why not me”. While some view children born with challenges as a burden, I’ve come to see them as a privilege, a special gift. Living with and caring for those with special needs is not easy, and while I would never choose a life with CHD for anyone, I would choose Toby every time, even knowing he has a broken heart.

I was there the day Toby was born, I heard his first cry. I was there after his first open heart surgery at five days old, I saw his heart beating through the yellow bandage; the only thing covering is open chest. I was there when he was packed up and finally sent home a month after he was born. I cared for him between his surgeries, fed him, administered his medications, went with my sister to his numerous appointments. I sat with him as he went through morphine withdrawals after his second open heart surgery. I did my best to comfort him as nurses poked him for IV access, suctioned his nose, and pulled out his chest tubes.

I also watched as he learned to scoot across the floor on his bum. I was there as he took his first steps. I get to see his eyes light up when he gets a new Lego set. I get to hear his giggles when he’s tossed around in the air by his uncle. I get to see the joy in him when he dumps a tub of Hot Wheels and begins to arrange them in a line. My heart swells when I hear him say words and use them correctly. While every kid may do these things, watching Toby do them, knowing what he’s had to overcome, is extraordinary.

Yes there is heartache and uncertainty but there is also overwhelming joy. There is life and there is hope living with a broken heart. From the beginning I never saw a broken kid, I only saw Toby. This boy has every reason to be angry yet he smiles. He can light up a room simply by walking into it. I wouldn’t want to live in a world where Toby didn’t. I am better for knowing him and I am grateful my sister chose Toby.

End Transmission